THE SELFISH GIANT?
Nicholas, my three year old, asked me today what ‘selfish’ means. I could have quickly answered him and gone on about my day but, instead, I read him a fairy tale entitled “The Selfish Giant.” What I didn’t expect, as we read the selfish tale together, was that our brief time together would reveal an enchanting truth about childhood wonder, and about parenting in general.
In the tale, children are playing in an enchanted garden within the walls of an abandoned castle. One day a giant returns to his castle seeking peace and quiet. He is annoyed by the children and selfishly chases them away.
I paused here in the tale to ask Nicholas if the giant was being selfish by not sharing his garden. Says Nicholas, “The giant is mean.” So being selfish, or not sharing, is ‘mean’. “Let’s see what happens to a mean, selfish giant who doesn’t share his garden” I suggest.
Fearing his growl, the children dare not return; and the garden, once lush and eternally summer, soon withers under perpetual snow and ice. The giant is restless. Eventually, a large stone loosens and falls from the garden wall leaving a hole large enough to crawl through. A brave and curious young child ventures in.
Hearing a child, the giant draws open his blinds and is about to growl but notices that the snow is melting away and his garden is again growing lush and vibrant around the child.
When the other children saw that they no longer had to fear the giant, they rushed over to him. The giant scooped them up one by one and gave them each a giant-size hug.
“Does this mean that we may play in your garden?” ask one child.
The giant now realized that the children brought the enchantment to his garden. “From now on this is your garden,” the giant said. “You may come here to play whenever you wish.” **
“The End,” I said and smiled. Nicholas looked at me and said, “I want a garden enchanted.” I do too, I thought. Then I realized, as did the giant, that little Nicholas is the key and that I can enter that enchanted place whenever I wish! Or is that true…whenever I wish?
We are busy giants in an everyday world quite different than the one our children experience. So much of our parenting and family time is spent directing traffic, resolving logistics and conflict, completing tasks and the maintenance of family life. We are bartering away our ‘garden enchanted’ for the sake of our daily business. Have we lost our balance?
Does our own garden strike us as enchanted anymore? Remember? – being small among giants, not assuming easy explanation but engaged in discovery? Wonder is a child’s learning place. It used to be ours too.
Do you remember how? Homework, chores, practices, social commitments – a busy child, like a busy parent, is apt to lose one of the most powerful attributes of a successful mind.
Re-enter your child’s garden; engage your child and connect with your child’s future in ways that enrich as well as train. The sheer wonder of the parent/child bond goes far beyond the tasks of the day. Ignite wonder in your home by valuing it in your child.
Wonder IS your garden too, a garden where parent and child teach and learn in the natural motivation of play. Oh yes, your child will teach you to wonder again. When you return to your castle this evening, commit Five Minutes to a Story or the delight of a Word Game. Connect with your child’s wonder and refresh the real reason we parent. Don’t allow your busy life and the occasional growling entailed to chase your child away. CREATE IT! Share your wonder. Your child has amazing learning gifts waiting for you should you remember.
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By Steve Denning: co-creator of KidsSuccess, Author and Educator. www.kidssuccess.com
**From the Fairy Tale – “The Selfish Giant” Adapted by Mary Rowitz in 5-Minute Fairy Tales: Publications International, Ltd. © 2001 www.pubint.com.
